Izzie's mind
by Snowy1993
Summary: Izzie returns... but she doesn't remember that she once left.
1. Chapter 1

'Mer, that's so not true!'

'It is, I swear!'

Meredith and Christina were in a very heated argument when the door opened. Assuming it was Alex they turned around to ask him what his opinion was. Their mouths literally fell open when they saw, instead of Alex, Izzie standing in the doorway.

'Hey guys, the weirdest thing just happened to me...' Izzie started, but stopped when she saw the faces of her friends.

'What?' she said, a little freaked out. 'Oh no, it's my hair isn't it? I knew I had a bad hair day, I knew it!'

Christina was the first of the twisted sisters that was able to speak. 'No' she said. 'It's not your hair, it's just...' she paused 'what the hell are you doing here?'

'Christina!' Meredith scolded.

'What? She shows up after years like nothing has happened!'

Before Meredith could say anything Izzie said, more than a little startled 'What do you mean, years? We saw each other yesterday! Just like the day before that, and before that, and...'

'Okay, okay' Meredith interrupted 'I get it.'

In fact, she didn't. She did not get it at all. What did Izzie mean? Had she forgotten that she left years ago? She had to get to the bottom of this. 'Hey Izzie... where did you wake up this morning?'

'Well' Izzie answered 'that's indeed a weird story' she paused for a few seconds before she continued, like she was still trying to figure it all out herself. 'I woke up in an on-call room in another hospital. I came here as soon as possible, still missed rounds though. But never mind. I think the reason that I was in that other hospital is that I slept with one of the doctors there. Couldn't think of another reason.'

'Well I could' Christina said, before Meredith could stop her. 'You work there, you...'

'Christina!' Meredith said.

'I... what is she talking about Mer?' Izzie said, very confused now.

Before Meredith could answer the door once again opened.

It was Alex.


	2. Chapter 2

Alex just stood there. Frozen.

'Alex, the girls are acting real weird, I have no idea what they're talking about' Izzie complained.

Frozen.

'Alex? Oh man, you too? Fine, I'll go find George' she said, before trying to leave the room.

But Meredith stopped her. 'No, you can't go looking for George' she said. 'Why not?' Izzie looked at her as if she was an alien. 'Because... 'cause...' Meredith had no idea. Not a single idea. Alex, who still felt like all air was sucked right out of him came to her rescue. 'Because he is at home. Sick. And you have to stay at the hospital. So you can't go... looking for him, that is.' Fluently, he thought. Well, at least it was better than Meredith's desperate 'uhms'. Meredith knew that and looked at him with gratitude in her eyes. But this hadn't been the biggest problem, had it? She reckoned, knowing Izzie's history, that the cancer was back. She had to find out exactly at what point in their lives Izzie thought they were. 'Uhm... Izzie..' she started, not sure how to ask such a, in any other occasion, that was, stupid and obvious question. 'How long ago did we meet?' And indeed, Izzie looked at her as if she was, again, an alien. And Izzie had to admit, she really was doubting whether this was Meredith or just her body, taken over by... okay, now she was being ridiculous. Fine, she would answer the question, even if it would make her look like a complete and utter fool (like that hadn't already happened today). 'We met around two weeks ago, when our intern-ship started, seriously, what's wrong with you guys?' Meredith took a deep breath, while the other two just stared at her as if she was mad. Then Meredith said something that not only surprised, but also concerned Izzie. 'We should go see Derek'.


	3. Chapter 3

A few minutes later Alex, Izzie, Christina and Meredith were sitting down in Owen's office. It was the best place they could think of to meet Derek. Derek came in, looking down at some files from patients he was working on at the moment. 'Hey, you had paged?' He asked, only to see, when he finally looked up, not just Meredith, but also her friends and, more stunning and important: Izzie. 'Izzie..' He said, surprised. 'How have you been? Gosh, it's been such a long time..' He wasn't noticing the warning look Meredith shot him. Izzie had had enough. People should just stop acting like they hadn't seen her in years! Which, according to these people, was the case. She rose from her chair and looked at the people who were sitting around the table or standing in the room, last mentioned being the case with Derek. After she had looked every single one of them deeply in the eyes she said, slowly: 'I've had enough of this. Now you are going to explain everything to me. I don't care which one of you, but I want every single detail.' Meredith, Christina and Derek looked at her with a bit of fear, much sadness and even more desperation in their eyes. Alex once again had to deal with it. 'Why don't we first go and have an MRI, Iz, and then we can talk'. As soon as the words had left his mouth he realised how stupid they were. Izzie had, in the time she seemed to live in, never had cancer. She wouldn't understand why he wanted her to have an MRI. And indeed, she didn't. He only had made her more furious. She was about to storm out the room, when Christina stopped her by saying loudly: 'George died!'


	4. Chapter 4

'George is dead' Christina said again, now more silent and softer than before. Everyone in the room, except for Izzie, shot her a look that said: 'Really?' Izzie cleared her throat. 'What?' she whispered, and then again, a little louder: 'What did you just say?'. 'I'm sorry Iz...' Christina said. Everyone in the room fell silent. 'The thing is...' Alex started 'It really was years ago that we've seen you. Between the first weeks of our intern-ship and now are several years and lots of stuff has happened.' 'Then... why am I not remembering those years and those things?' Izzie said, while her eyes filled with tears of confusion and panic. 'I think the cancer is back Izzie.' Derek said only to see Izzie look even more confused and panicked. 'You've had cancer before. That's why we want you to have an MRI. To see if it's back.' Meredith explained. 'After that, we can talk, but please, let us first look at your brain and see how bad the tumour is or isn't.' Alex begged. Izzie just nodded. Everyone watched, more than a little surprised, as Christina took Izzie's hand and walked with her to the MRI.


	5. Chapter 5

Surprisingly, Christina had offered to stay with Izzie during her MRI. And that for a person who is pro-surgery and not so pro-humans. So Derek, Meredith and Alex waited for the results of the MRI to appear. They did. And it was horrible. Meredith gasped, Alex cursed and Derek smiled. Smiled? 'Why the hell are you smiling man? That's one of the biggest tumours I've ever seen!' Alex said to Derek angrily. 'Believe me' Derek said 'it's also one of the easiest tumours I have ever seen.' 'It is?' Alex said, surprised. 'Yep!' Derek said 'Let's just hope that once the tumour is out, the cancer is gone.' Christina, who had seen the worried faces came inside. 'Is it bad?' she asked. 'Yes!' Meredith and Alex said. 'No' Derek said. Christina looked at them in confusion. 'Okay' Derek said 'It's not like it's the best tumour I've ever seen, 'cause it is pretty big, but I can remove it quite easy, so that won't be the problem, it's just...' he stopped talking. Meredith read his mind. 'It's just that it might be spread' she finished his sentence. Christina nodded. Then Izzie came inside. 'Well?' she said 'Is it back?' 'It is' Derek said 'But I'm going to remove the tumour, tomorrow, that is... so, let's get you a room, shall we?' and he smiled his most confident and reassuring smile. Izzie smiled hesitantly back. 'Yeah' she said. 'Let's do so...'


	6. Chapter 6

Izzie and Alex sat in Izzie's room, while Christina and Meredith were out to have some lunch. 'Alex..' Izzie started. ' There's happened a lot while I was away, true or not?' 'True' Alex admitted. 'And if you tell me all this stuff now, I will get a headache, right?' 'Right' Alex laughed. 'Okay, then let's talk about easier stuff... do you think the cancer is spread?' Alex looked at her with big eyes.. this was easy? 'Gotya!' Izzie laughed. 'What a beautiful smile' Alex thought 'I've missed it so terribly much'. 'No but seriously' Izzie said. 'I'm going to be fine, right?' 'The truth is..' Alex said 'you've done it all before and you've conquered the cancer. If you can do something once, you can do it again. Maybe even better' he said, and winked at her. Izzie smiled. He was right, she would be fine. Her best friend died, which she didn't remember and she had had cancer before, which she also didn't remember. But now she at least was where she belonged again and her friends would support her and fill in the missing years in her mind. She'd be fine. It would all be fine.


	7. Chapter 7

She couldn't breathe. George's face. Destroyed. By a bus. A bus that he had jumped in front of. To save a woman. Her and Alex, getting married. A divorce. Hannah, having cancer. She herself, having cancer. Meredith, drowning. She, making a hole in a man's head in order to save his life. Everything was coming back. Flashes. Years were rolling over each other in her head, trying to come up in her mind sooner than the others. It was too much. It was all way too much. She couldn't breathe. She felt someone taking her hand. A face. Derek. McDreamy. He was talking to her. She couldn't hear him. A peace came over her. Dark. Sleep. Rest.

Beep... Beep... Beep... Beep... Alex was listening to the sounds of Izzie's steady heartbeats. He was waiting for her to wake up. She had woken up earlier, but had panicked so badly that they hadn't had a choice but to sedate her. He was hoping that when she woke up and saw him that she wouldn't panic anymore. He wasn't sure though. Once they had been married. Been happy and in love. But they had broken up. They had gotten a divorce. And not exactly on good terms. But he still loved her. He wasn't sure about whether they could work it out or not, but he was certain about his love for her. Izzie was waking up. She was groaning and moving a little. So he took her hand and looked at her. She opened her eyes and he looked into them. He smiled at her. 'Alex?' she asked. 'Yes, Izzie, I'm here, it's okay. Everything will be all right' he said reassuringly. She smiled and went straight back to sleep.


	8. Chapter 8

A few months later Izzie was healed psychically and mentally. The first part had gone quite fast: the cancer was gone after Derek had removed the tumour. The second part hadn't been that easy. She had went to a psychologist and luckily had had lots of support from her friends and, even more important, from Alex. He was again her boyfriend. They had talked so much in the weeks after her surgery, that they really had reconnected and so, today exactly two weeks ago, they had decided to give 'them' another try. And so far, it was working out pretty good. In fact so good, that they had decided to try for a baby. They didn't want to rush things but they really felt like a kid would make their lives complete and perfect. Izzie had decided already about her career, but didn't have the courage yet to tell either her boyfriend nor her friends. They wouldn't understand. But all she wanted was to be a (house)wife, a mother and maybe in the future she would start her own bakery or so. She had had enough of hospitals. It's not that she hated them, but more like they were a part of her life that was over, gone. A bit like George, she thought with a sad smile. Although she would choose him over being a housewife. Dealing with Georges death had been the hardest thing to do during her therapy. But between her and Alex the hardest thing had been talking about their divorce. But they had figured out that that wouldn't happen again. They were changed. Both of them. And more important: they knew what they had. It's like that song: 'you don't know what you've got, 'till it's gone'. They hadn't known before, but now, after being apart for such a long time, they did. And they cherished each other. Just like they had promised, when they got married. To cherish and to love. Izzie smiled while she moved her wedding-ring that she once again was wearing around her finger.


	9. Chapter 9

'Sarah! Alexander! STOP RUNNING!' Izzie was so, so frustrated. She loved her children more than anything in this whole wide world, but how many times had she already said that running in a hospital was just a 'no-do'? And yet, they didn't listen! Not that she could entirely blame them. She wanted to run straight in Alex his arms too. She watched with a touched smile how Alex embraced their twins. It had taken a while for them to receive their babies. So when it finally happened they were over the moon. And when they heard that inside her were growing not just one, but two babies... they were so thrilled that they had screamed and jumped and acted so weird that a nurse had paged both Christina and Meredith to check if they hadn't gone mad. Meredith only had made the situation worse by jumping and screaming along with them while Christina had just looked at her friends, while shaking her head and showing a small, but genuine smile. Now, the twins were already four and were just starting school. Lately, when Izzie had thought about the spare time she would have while the twins were at school, she had remembered her plan for a bakery of her own. She had shared this idea with her husband (they were officially re-married, the day that the children had turned one) and he had been nothing but supportive. Just like when she had told him she didn't want to be a doctor anymore. Actually, the only one who really hadn't understood it was Christina. Both times. 'Cause everything that was about a career and didn't involve surgeries, was, at the least, weird to Christina. But Izzie had noticed that Christina was happy for her. Life right now was as perfect as it could get. She wouldn't change it for all the money in the world. She smiled again and walked towards her husband and kids. She embraced her family. And in her mind, she embraced life.


End file.
